Polarity
by sodoto
Summary: Clark doesn't sneeze the same way as humans do. Clex.
1. The Big Sneeze

**Polarity**

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Summary: Clark doesn't sneeze the same way as humans do. Clex.  
Author: Sodoto.  
E-mail: buggreallthisforalarke at yahoo dot co dot uk  
Author's Notes: Clex, Clex, Clex, Clexy, Clexy, Clex. Oh, gosh, the "Clark-turning-randomly-into-a-woman" thang is WAY too fun not to do. glares Also, so is very!naive!Lana. That's fun too. Also dead!Lana is fun too—hey, I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

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**Chapter One – The Big Sneeze**

It's not often Lana Lang gets a Saturday off. Not that this is a problem at the Talon, in fact she draws up the scheduling herself, and she didn't even think of making her free day a Saturday instead of Friday until Chloe suggested it while she was drawing up the week's roster. Amy had agreed to step in, and had Lex's number in case of a real emergency, and Chloe's cell number if something less awful happened, and it being the summer vacation and all, it was quite nice to be out.

But a free Saturday she has, and she and Chloe are nosing around a clothing outlet store, _Lucy-Ann_, which sells stuff that the up-market Metropolis store does but cheaper. Chloe suggested a girl's day out, and Lana agreed readily, enjoying the female company now she couldn't see Nell so often.

And it's there, around a rack of suede skirts which are so soft and pretty, while Chloe is checking out some of the more non-mainstream paisley items, that she sees something really strange.

It weirds her out a little, and she stares for a moment at the scene until Chloe jostles her elbow.

"Seen another eighty-year old trying on a crop top, huh?" Chloe jokes, before she sees what Lana is looking at.

Martha Kent, shopping for clothes, but not on her own. A tall girl, shyly hiding behind Martha, with a blush on her cheeks, black hair feathered around her face which looks almost familiar but not, and dubious green eyes surveying the clothes.

"She looks a little like Clark," Lana says, surreptitiously hiding in amongst the skirt and peeking her head around the corner.

Chloe stares, and then nods. "Yeah, she does. But don't you think Clark would have said something about-"

"-unless he only found out yesterday," Lana says quickly, defending Clark even while being just as suspicious about it all herself.

Chloe sends a knowing smile in her direction. "Come on. The only way we'll get to know anything is by going and talking to them. And that might not be much. You know the Kents."

Lana wrinkles her nose. "Talk about anything that means anything, and they clam up."

Chloe raises her eyebrows slightly, and leads the way, leaving Lana to trail behind. Lana can see Martha showing the girl, who as they got closer couldn't be more than nineteen, some skirts. The girl was flushing furiously, perhaps from something Martha said. From the almost wicked grin on Martha's face, this was very possibly the case.

And then something doesn't feel right when it's the girl that notices them first, and her red face goes abruptly pale, and she blurts out, "Chloe!" and then shuffles as if knowing she's done something wrong. The blush comes out again, and there's a long pause, before "Chloe Sullivan, right?"

Lana watches Chloe almost come to a complete word standstill. The girl flings her hand out, and shakes Chloe's, even though the blonde journalist is dumbstruck.

"Clark's said so much about you, and shown me so many photos," the girl explains. "And you must be Lana?"

Lana nods.

"Ah, it's nice to finally meet the other two women in my nephew's life," the girl says, grinning, and Lana notices Martha's face react slightly. Maybe she thought we wouldn't like Clark's - aunt?? - or something.

"Uh, not to be rude, but- Clark's never mentioned an aunt," Chloe says, her usual forthright self, and Lana has to force herself not to roll her eyes, Chloe can't help but be _rude_, butting in is what she's good at. And she's remarkably good at making the people who she's butting _into_ not mind so much.

"And this surprises you, how?" The girl and Martha share an almost knowing look. "Clark doesn't strike me as much of a talker. Not that I've known him long."

"None of us knew Lara existed until last week," Martha explains. "My father let it slip then, in one of his too-rare phone calls."

"To not know you have a _sister_, that's awful," Lana says, sympathising. She never knew she had a dad, a real dad, a biological dad, until not so very long ago, so she knows the feelings.

"Half-sister," the girl - Lara - corrects.

Lana feels a little awkward then, realising their names are only a letter apart.

"We're having a girly day out," Chloe says then. "Do you want to join us?"

"Oh-" Martha's face tenses a little, and Lana gets that feeling, like when Clark's about to lie to them.

"-we have so much to get," Lara says, and she looks real sorry, "Dad kind of left me stranded apart from the clothes I had on. And they got a bit mud covered. How long are you going to be in the outlet village for?"

Chloe looks at her watch, and scrunches up her nose, like she does when she's manipulating numbers in her head. Lana knows that look from Math class, when they're practising their "mental acuity" (Mrs. McKenzie sure needed to get more often) and often from her own reflection in the Talon mirrors when she's trying to figure out a misplaced figure in the accounts. "Uh, 'til about five? Then we thought we'd get dinner some place."

It's the first Lana's heard of it, and Chloe's sheepish smile tells her that Chloe had intended it to be a surprise. Touched, Lana smiles back at her best friend.

"We could all go, if you're here 'til then," Lana suggests.

Lara looks a little reluctant, and Lana wonders how much Clark has told her about them, but Martha flashes Lara a dark look that Lana can't quite translate, something close to _you're going to have to face them sooner or later_, but that can't be quite right, unless Lara is scared that she won't make a good impression on Clark's closest friends, and- Oh, that makes more sense.

"Yeah," Chloe says, obviously wildly curious about Lara, "there's a great Italian place here my dad takes me to all the time. Da Vinci's. It does an earlybird special if you order before half past six. All you can eat for like $5."

"We'll be there," Martha promises, pushing the skirt she's holding into the basket balanced on her arm. "Now, underwear?"

A flash of something crosses on Lara's face, almost like panic.

"Don't worry, if you need measuring the women here don't grope you like they do in the Metropolis stores," Chloe says, interpreting Lara's expression to be terror.

Lana is a little confused. "You mean that's not how they're supposed to measure you?" And her confusion isn't assuaged by the three female stares in her direction. Perplexed, she stares right back. "What?"

Chloe grabs her arm, and smiles winningly at the sisters. "Let's make it half past five," Chloe says, "I'm getting Miss. Naivety USA to Starbucks and teaching her a few facts about life as a woman."

Lana shrugs at them, and lets herself be dragged off.

-----

"Mom, that was so embarrassing!" Clark buries his face in his hands, and then remembers he can't really call them _his_ any more, and feels more depressed.

"I know, sweetie. But we couldn't exactly say you'd managed to sneeze yourself into womanhood yesterday afternoon, could we?" Martha tries to be sympathetic with her son-er-daughter, but is finding it hard, and Clark is even more devastated by the way he notices her shoulders shaking.

"It's not funny," Clark whimpers, and looks down at him-no-_her_self. Things are there that should not be there, and things are gone which should not be gone, and don't even mention the whole toilet debacle. And he's wearing some of his mother's old clothes, which don't quite fit right, which is why he's glad in a way to be there, and it was just sod's law that Chloe and Lana were there just at that same time. "I thought it was just a fluky thing that happened last vacation," he says, still whimpering really, but it sounds worse in the girl voice he's acquired along with the whole gender switch.

It's still painful to remember that three week holiday, unable to see any of his friends, and it was actually painful to switch in the first place. He'd thought it under control until last night, and his dad (her dad, his brain is interjecting, so maybe his-her brain has gone feminine too) dropped a box of soap powder accidentally, and it got right up his nose, and he sneezed. And was female again, resplendent in a pair of overalls his mother had made him wear last time it had happened, and no matter how many different things they threw at him to make him sneeze back into being male and normality - as normal as things got for a teenage alien with superhero powers - it didn't work.

Clark was kind of stuck as a girl this time. For all they knew it could be _- shudder - _permanent.

And when he'd been in the bathroom, dubiously sat on the toilet seat and steadfastly not wanting to _touch _anything, and Martha was shouting helpful suggestions through the wall (squeeze? what the kind of hell crazy thing was that?) he managed to go which was better than last time as he'd been unable to _go_ for four days and then had wet himself.

Which hadn't ever ever happened before, at least not since he was a baby in- well, he would like to say nappies, but who knew what babies wore on Krypton. Who even knew that gender switching wasn't normal, or that he was actually a she all along without knowing it.

"Well, we're just going to take things how they come," Martha says. "I think we can risk being in public this long. You had two days of being one gender before a switch happened last time. We just hope it either happens the same, or-"

"-hope we can semi-explain it as a meteor mutation," Clark grouches. "I get it."

Martha flicks through some sweaters, and picks out a red v-necked one in Lara's size, dropping it into the basket, indulging her love of primary colours on her son-daughter-child, whatever. "If we get one of those pretty black skirts you wouldn't let me get earlier, you could dress up for the meal with Lana and Chloe if you like," Martha says.

Clark facevaults at her. "Mom," he hisses, "I'm having trouble with this whole thing as it is."

"Lara, you may have to face being stuck this way. We've known for the last few months that it could be a possibility. We just don't know how your- _unique_ physiology works," Martha says, using _unique_ just in case, you never know who's listening in and it's been incriminating enough so far.

Clark pulls a face. "I might be stuck as _Lara_ my whole life?" He asks, and shudders. "Well, it could be worse, I suppose," he says. And then, in a small voice, "but what about my- a birth certificate, or-"

And Martha sighs so heavily, that Clark - no, Lara, he might have to get use to thinking of himself as Lara, and her, and she, and _female_ - puts his (her) hand on Martha's elbow, worried that she's hurt. "That might not be a problem," Martha says, in such a low voice that Clark is glad of his superhearing - Lara is glad of _her_ superhearing, he (she) means, and _oh_ is this ever confusing. "About five, six years, before we found you, my mother-" And Martha wheezes slightly, like it hurts. "-she died giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, named Clara after mom's favorite character in the _Nutcracker_. My father- threw out her birth certificate in horror when he lost both my mom _and_ Clara."

And Clark mouths, _oh_, it all falls into place. "So I would have had an aunt," he says. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay," Martha says, and her face looks a little older than it did before but maybe it's the lighting, Clark doesn't know for sure. "You weren't to know. I rescued the papers, I don't know why, but now-" She smiles. "Now it's a good thing I did."

Clark smiles back, he doesn't know why but it seems easier on his female face. Then he pulls a face at his mom. "I see why I prefer Lara," he says. Martha looks almost as puzzled as Lana did a few minutes back. "Clara Clark?" he says, when Martha still looks confused. "It's a bit- Like a name you'd expect to be out of a comic book."

Martha agrees with a nod, as they make their way back to the skirts, and Martha throws two in the basket. Clark pulls a face.

"You're enjoying this too much," he accuses.

"I know," Martha says, pushing him- _her_- in the small of the back in the direction of the lingerie section. "Bras and panty hose next."

Clark just grimaces while his mom starts to laugh hysterically.

-----

Chloe is surprised as it hits half five and Martha Kent and Lara are stood there by the front of Da Vinci's. They're carrying more bags, and Lara is flushing tremendously. She's changed clothes, which Chloe is a little surprised at until her memory pokes at her a little, and she remembered Lara's clothes before, they didn't fit right, as if they belonged to someone else. They probably had, Chloe remembers something about being left only with one mud-splattered outfit, and realises she would have changed too.

Martha obviously chose the outfit too, which is surprising, because although Chloe's never had a sister, if she had one, she wouldn't take fashion tips from them. Except she might take tips from Lana, if the ex-cheerleader wasn't quite so spectacularly dense about the real world, because Lana's almost her sister now anyways and she can pull off any outfit spectacularly. But, Chloe realises, she doesn't quite have Lana's bone structure, which is enviable. So is Lara's, Chloe thinks too, while she's still analyzing Clark's 'new' relative. Not as tall as Clark, but still tall with curves in the right place, and the same cheekbones and the same eyes.

It's a little strange how uncannily the girl looks like Clark, even though technically they're not actually related at all, Clark being adopted and all. But then, Clark was always damn sure that that woman that time couldn't have been his biological mother, and that adoption was damn suspicious to be truly honest, the Clarks were a rich family in Metropolis and would definitely be able to fund a surreptitious adoption, maybe he and Lara were brother and sister-

Chloe shakes off all the ideas leaping into her head, reminding herself that conjecture is bad, facts are really good. Although, one has to exercise jumping-to-conclusions in Smallville, sometimes. But if she was going to become a serious journalist one day - and _oh_ she was, she really was - then she was going to have to do some research and unravel this mystery properly.

Lana is still quite speechless, and outraged that several people had been feeling her up for years now, and was bolstered by Chloe's suggestions of reading some of the feminist psychologists and joining the cause, surfing the crimson wave and all that. So it's up to Chloe to make the small talk as they approached the - _supposed sisters_, Chloe's brain thinks, and she shakes it off. The Kents are good people, she doesn't know about the Clarks but unlike most of the small-minded Smallville people she doesn't judge by the surname of someone.

She can hold some spectacular grudges, as both Pete and Clark can no doubt attest to.

"Hi," Lara says, and her voice is still shy and muffled. Lara asks "How was your day?" and she's polite, to the Kent level of polite, which causes Chloe a small feeling of shame, that she thought Lara and Martha weren't related.

"Great," Lana speaks up, although she looks dazed still. "I hope they have some good food on the buffet, I'm starving."

"It smells real good," Lara agrees, and Chloe frowns, the word pattern sounds familiar but she can't put her finger on it, almost like Clark's but she hasn't been around Clark long enough to pick it up, and if Lara is a Metropolis girl, her voice doesn't have that Metropolis twang to it, the one Chloe worked hard to get rid of.

"_Really_, not real, Lara, darling," Martha says, with that still amused look on her face. "Honestly, you're almost as bad as Clark."

A murderous glint flashes in Lara's eyes but the girl dimples anyway. "Oh, you say that like it's an insult."

"Believe me," Chloe says, "it's an insult."

And Lara looks _hurt_ for a second, but brushes it away. Lana's stomach grumbling distracts them, and she looks at them apologetically.

"Sorry," Lana says, "I haven't had much to eat today."

"We'd better remedy that then," Martha says, putting a motherly arm around Lana and walking with her into the restaurant, leaving Chloe to walk by Lara.

"I assure you," Chloe says as they walk into the building and a smiling waiter with a touch of Enrique Iglesias but younger about him leads them to a table for four and gives them plates for the _all you can eat _buffet. "Nothing Clark has told you about me is true. None of it."

Lara's lips quirk in suppressed amusement. "So you didn't put purple dye in Pete Ross' shower head? Or sing the Macarena during roll call last week? Or drink fourteen frappucinos in one day and end up with a hangover from them?"

And Chloe laughs. "Clark _has_ told you a lot about me," she says, and it's almost a relief that Lara knows these things, if Clark has spoken so fondly about her.

"Of course," Lara says quickly, almost as if affronted, but Chloe doesn't see how someone can be insulted by what she said. "You're one of his best friends."

Chloe beams brightly, a grin of joy, irrationally happy from the words. It's true, they are best friends, even though Clark lies, but Chloe trusts Clark has a reason for it, and that's what best friends are, people who can be your friend and won't push for your deep dark secret. Well, Chloe did push at first, and it shames her to remember, but then Clark went moody and evil so it kind of makes up for it.

"Yeah," Chloe says, "yeah, I am. And he's one of mine, too."

Lara takes a seat next to Chloe while Martha and Lana go to the buffet, leaving them to guard their shopping bags. Chloe knows from experience that it's hard to get food at this place _and_ carry bags, so it's a good arrangement and one her dad never thinks about.

"I hope we can be friends too," Lara says and the words are kind of rushed together but Chloe can hear them fine, and Lara looks at her tentatively with those Clark-green eyes, the eyes that make Chloe say _yes _to any question.

In fact, it's so eerily Clark-ish, that Chloe is shaken up, but she smiles a bright, winning smile anyway. "Any aunt of Clark is a friend of mine," Chloe says. The relief on Lara's face is immediate, and Chloe is struck at how young the girl actually is, not the nineteen she originally thought but closer to her own age. "Even if you're more like a sister, age-wise."

Lara pulls a wry face. "Yeah, it makes me feel _old_ being an aunt!"

"I bet," Chloe says, laughing, and Martha and Lana are back, so Chloe and Lara go over to the buffet. Chloe loads her plate with the usual, hot chicken wings, ham, mayonnaise, lettuce leaves, red onion, and those garlic croutons her dad hates but she can't get enough of, and she doesn't even notice Lara's plate until they get back to the table, and _damn_ if Lara doesn't have the same tastes as Clark too, beef, cheese, bread, chips, and lots of it.

They start to eat, and Chloe's neck tingles, like when she's had an idea for a story and she's sure it's true she just doesn't have proof yet. Lara is way too close to being like Clark in looks and mannerisms for having only met him a week ago. And Clark wouldn't hide something like having a new aunt, right? Unless there _was_ something fishy about her and then of course Clark would clam right up.

"Urgh, I really don't know how you do it," Lana says, looking enviously at Lara's plate of carbohydrates and protein to her own, salad and chicken and low-fat vinaigrette and potato wedges.

"What do you mean?" Lara asks, her fork down nervously, and she looks briefly to Martha for support, who just shrugs.

"You're one of those annoying girls that can eat all they like and not put on weight," Lana says, smiling a little. Lara relaxes and picks up her fork again. "You're so slim!"

"Guess it stays in the family," Lara says, looking over at Martha again but this time softly. "Clark's like that too."

"Yeah, he is," Chloe agrees. "I'd say he should eat more, but he packs away enough as it is. I honestly don't know how he eats so much."

"All those farm chores, I expect," Martha says, laughing. "Why do you think I have to bake so much, but to feed my hungry boys."

And both Chloe and Lana exchange a glance at Lara's reaction. The girl looks down at her plate, almost sad, and Martha is looking as if she said something wrong.

"I didn't mean-" Martha says, one hand on Lara's, but it's all apparently too much for her and Lara runs out of the restaurant, hair flying behind her, and Martha just looks. Uncomfortable, Martha plays with her food. "She'll be back," Martha explains, after a moment of shocked silence. "She, well, she worked last summer as an au pair for one of dad's co-workers, baked every day for the man's two little boys, angels they were. And-" Martha's face tightens. "It was the end of summer, and Lara had just finished working there- The guy sent his boys back to Edge City-"

"-where the big explosion was," Lana says, realising. "Oh, how awful."

Chloe feels almost chastised, and she feels bad for thinking such a horrid thing, and when Lara comes back, her eyes a little red, no one says much about it at all, just indulge in idle chit-chatter about movies, and likes, and dislikes, and when Lara expresses a dislike for peas, Chloe doesn't even chalk it up to Clark-like behaviour.

-----

"Urgh, it was awful," Lara says, after an hours pep talk from her mom on the way back that she May Actually Have To Start Dealing With Being Female. Thinking it is hard, but she's getting there. "I could totally tell Chloe had sussed something as being wrong."

"You heard the lie I told them about-" Martha starts, and Jonathan frowns a little at the word _lie_, but he knows it's all necessary, he'll do whatever he has to to protect his family, even when strange alien things keep happening to it.

"Yes." Lara twiddles her thumbs on her tan-panty-hosed legs, and grimaces a little. "I'm sorry I reacted like that, it's just- Last time I was so _scared_ it would happen again, and now- Now I'm just scared about where Clark has gone. It's- easier to think of myself as suddenly someone else, and- Oh, god, I have a split personality disorder."

Lara flings herself into her hands.

"They're all going to _hate_ me," she adds, eventually looking up morosely at her parents. Her, her, her. It's going to kill her one of these moments.

"Clark-" Jonathan starts, then stops himself. "Lara. Whatever happens, you're still our child. The baby we raised to be individual and caring and protecting and wonderful. That will never change."

"The lying won't ever change, ever?" Lara asks, and it sounds like despair, and oh it sounds like pain. Tears come again, but she doesn't care, it feels a little better, it feels a tiny bit human and that's just what she needs right now. It's almost as if she's only just realised she'll be lying forever. And forever seems so long, and- Lara chokes, Cassandra's vision flashing in her mind, all the people she cares about in graves, surrounding her, while he- she was alive.

"Oh, honey," Martha says, and flings her arm around her, in the best hug Lara's had for a long time, and she buries her head in her mom's shoulder, and she can hear Martha's heartbeat which is so reassuring that it just makes the tears come harder.

There's a knock at the door, and they all turn to see Lex Luthor there. A vessel in Jonathan's face jumps, and Lara manages a strangled "_dad_" so Jonathan tries to look less mad. Lara wipes her eyes with the tissue Martha passes her while Jonathan opens the door.

"I'm sorry if this is a bad time," Lex says as he steps in. "I was looking for Clark."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Lex. Clark's gone away for the week. He tried to call, but your phone was engaged," Martha says, and that part's true, they called earlier with Lara putting a tea cloth over the receiver to deepen her voice, but they couldn't get through anyway.

Lex has an expression on his face which is a queer combination of regret, shock and compassion. Lara realises that last is for her, and feels ashamed that yet again there was one more lie to keep from her friend. _Clark's friend, I mean_, she adds, silently, because Lex doesn't know Lara at all, and from the way Jonathan is going into severe apoplexy he won't _get_ to know her.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lex says smoothly. "Perhaps I can call again next week."

"Um, I'll get him to call you when he gets back. He's in Eerie with his grandfather, out in the sticks somewhere. He rang last night, but it was a really bad connection," Martha explains.

"Of course," Lex says. He looks at Lara, and then away again as if not wanting to be caught looking.

"Oh, sorry!" Martha exclaims, getting up and pulling Lara to her feet with her. "This is Lara Clark, my sister."

A quirk of a smile comes on Lex's pale face, and Lara almost falls over in shock when Lex takes her hand and kisses it. "Charmed," Lex says, and it's all Lara can do to stand up and _not_ laugh at the puking actions her dad's making.

"Clark's said so much about you," Lara says, and dimples a smile at Lex.

Lex smiles right back, only it's not the usual smile Clark receives from Lex, it's a mite tighter. "Not all of it is true," Lex says, and he's still smiling that smile, like Lex uses when he- And Lara's heart thumps into her feet. It's the smile he used like when he took Clark to a bar and he was showing Clark how to pick up women and Clark already knew Lex couldn't teach him much because girls were fawning over Lex because of who he was, like they'd fawned over _Kal_ who had lots of money and fast cars and a hot new girl on his arm every night. _Lex__ is hitting on Lara_. And it's so weird and wrong and yet lightening at the same time that Lara just wants to laugh.

So she does, a little, and Lex cat-grins back. "Well, I have to dash, I'm afraid," Lex says, nodding his head at Jonathan and Martha. "I hope to see you around, Lara."

Lara can only nod, as Lex sweeps out of the house to his car. Then she buries her head in Martha's neck, and the two women laugh hysterically, and Jonathan is looking perplexed at them.

"Darn women, can never understand you," Jonathan grinds out, shaking his head in amusement.

"Lex was hitting on me," Lara explains, holding her side and laughing. And Jonathan looks shocked for a moment, frozen in time, before a genuine smile cracks on his face.

"Damn," he says, looking amused. "Gee, it'd be almost worth telling him just to see the look on his face."

-----

**TBC**** – Coming soon : Clark's sneezing power goes haywire!**


	2. Sneezearoo

**Polarity

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**Summary**: Clark doesn't sneeze the same way as humans do.  
**Author**: Sodoto.  
**E-mail**: buggreallthisforalarke at yahoo dot co dot uk  
**Author's Notes**: I'd forgotten I had this chapter finished a couple of weeks ago. Sorry! Here, you can have it now... Please don't hurt me...

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**Disclaimer**: Smallville doesn't belong to me.

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**Chapter Two - Sneeze-a-roo!

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"I can't believe you're dropping me off at school."

Martha looks across at Clark-sorry-Lara, and can see Clark so clearly in those red pouting lips that for a second she worries that this isn't the best thing to do.

"Your father went to all that trouble of arranging you a place, Lara Clark," Martha instructs in a sing-song sort of way. "So you're going, whether you like it or not, missy."

Lara shoots Martha a oh-god-if-we-weren't-in-such-a-public-place-I'd-consider-matricide look. "Hmm," is all she says, looking mournfully out at the bustling area. "Can't my new thing of the day just have been my bra? Put it on myself, you know."

Martha laughs, shaking her head at how bizarre that comment would sound if you didn't know the situation. "Get on with you," she says. "I'll pick you up from the Talon at half five."

"The Talon?" Lara's eyes are round as she picks up her rucksack, a new one so no one will think that Lara has stolen Clark's. "Why-"

"You have to get used to this, Clark," Martha says, and then looks flustered. "Lara."

"Whatever," Lara sulks, before catching herself. "I don't mean to sulk," she says, looking up at Martha with those eyes that are just like Clark's.

Martha laughs again, a tinkling sort of sound, and reaches one hand out to brush Lara's hair away from her forehead. Bright green eyes watch her hand hestitantly. "Now scoot!" Martha says, still laughing, and Lara pulls a face but gets out of the vehicle anyway.

"Bye, M-Martha," Lara calls, and if her eyebrows wiggle a bit funnily no one notices. Martha watches Lara walk away a little before gunning the engine and driving away, leaving Clark alone, and if maybe she cries a little on the way back, no one notices that either.

_Great. Juuuust great_. Lara tried to remember what her first day at high school was like, and pulls her memories of other newbies out. So even though she knows where everything is, she dallies a litle in the car park, looking up at the building. She walks a little to the left, past some students who give her the once-over in confusion, and Lara knows that the knowledge of the new girl will be right around the school in no time.

She walks past some of the cars of the football squad, happy that none of the macho players are in them, and catches glimpse of her own reflection. At first she thinks it is of the girl behind her, but then she remembers her predicament and knows it is her. The face is familiar, if smaller, and the hair and eyes and skin the same colour, and maybe she's nearly as tall, but there the resemblances end.

She's wearing clothes she picked out herself, although she would have worn what her mom would have picked out for her, had Martha been willing to. Lara had thought about the gossip of "newbies" around school, and didn't want to offend anyone right away. Some girls got bullied really badly just from what they wore on their first day. Lara had chosen a pair of slimline black trousers, with a white flower embroidery up one leg, knowing that choosing the right skirt was beyond her - one inch could make all the difference and she didn't even want to _think_ about waxing her legs, and she thought jeans were maybe a bit causal for the first day. She wore a white stretch tank top, which _had_ involved shaving under her arms. Razors had never worked on her hair before, but they did now, so maybe it's something to do with being turned into a female, she doesn't know. Over that, she's wearing an unfastened red shirt, which even that is unfamiliar to her, because it curves in places men's shirts don't curve in. Her mom said it showed off her lovely figure, so she supposes that's a good thing. She didn't exactly want to look herself over in the mirror at home and see if _she_ would fancy herself, because that was going _beyond_ the borders of unreal.

But this glimpse, she didn't look too bad, if she forgot for a second it was her.

A little more confident now, and sure her hair looked okay because she'd checked that over and mom had made her use some sort of chinese peony conditioner which made it soft and if she ever got back to being male then she was using it, who cares if men's hair is allowed to be fluffy or not, it smelt really good.

Lara picks up her pace again, heading towards the entrance, and is accosted by none other than Pete Ross. He is smiling toothily at her, and Lara is a little worried at how wide his grin is.

"You must be Clark's aunty," Pete says, extending a hand.

Feeling incredibly clumsy, Lara holds out her hand and shakes his, and his handshake is surprisingly firm. Lara never knew this before, Pete had never shaken _Clark's_ hand. Not that she can think of, anyway.

"Hi, I'm Lara," Lara says. "You must be Pete Ross."

Pete looks a little surprised.

"I've seen your picture," Lara goes on to explain, because Pete looks a little wigged, and this is _Pete_. Pete who knows about aliens and kryptonite and other planets and whose best friend _is _an alien.

"Ah, I see," Pete says. "There goes my self delusion that I'm not photogenic, and that in real life I'm so much more prettier than I'm unrecognisable."

Lara can't help herself, she laughs, because this is really the sort of cheesy pick-up line that Pete tries to use a lot too. It's weird being hit on by two of your best friends, so Lara looks pointedly at the school as if to hurry things along and Pete gets the point.

"Well, I'm your appointed guide for this morning," Pete says quickly, smiling crookedly this time, like he does when he's been put down, and Lara feels a little bad but can't give Pete false hope because there's absolutely no _way_ she's going to fool Pete, she feels bad enough fooling him this much so far.

Pete leads her into the hallway, with a gentlemanly arm on her back. "Welcome to Smallville High," he says, his voice levelling off as he delves into the introductory speech, where things are, what places to avoid, what classes she has. Lara tries her best to keep interested, but Pete keeps telling her things she knows. Eventually he drops her off outside her maths class, she's been put a year below because of her "transcripts being lost" but Lara likes that idea, she gets to resit a grade and maybe do better this time, and not being distracted by Chloe or Pete or Lana might do really good things to her grade sheet. Pete waves her goodbye, with a "see you at lunch, Lara", and Lara wonders what else exactly she's nodded agreement to if she hasn't noticed an invitation to join them at lunch.

Peering into the classroom worriedly, Lara shifts the new handbooks and timetables and forms into her bag, and then knocks on the door. Mrs. Penhallow, Lara recognises her from last year, looks up and smiles, beckoning her in. Feeling more nervous than she thinks she really did on her first day here, Lara plasters on a wide smile and walks into the classroom.

Rows of not-quite-familiar faces glance at her, and Lara is glad there's no one in here that she really knows all that well. Here she can be herself or whoever she wants to be, and no one can look at her funny and go "that's not you."

"Class, this is Lara Clark, she's joining our class today. Lara, my name is Mrs. Penhallow. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

Figuring "no" wasn't that great an answer at this point, Lara tried to keep her knees from shaking, and turned to face the class. "Uh. Hi, I'm Lara Clark, I'm nineteen. I've just come from a few years of schooling in the UK, and, um, it's great to be in Smallville. My sister keeps telling me what a great football team you all have."

Apparently there were some footballers and cheerleaders in the room, for a great section of the class start whooping at her words.

"Your sister?" Mrs. Penhallow asks, a little confused, as if she recognises Lara but can't quite place her.

"Martha Kent," Lara says. "From the Kent organic farm?"

"Oh yes, of course!" Mrs. Penhallow exclaims. She peers a little closer at Lara. "You look a lot like their son Clark."

Lara shifts a little, uncomfortable with that observation.

"Oh, what am I thinking about! Dear, there's a seat free opposite Kaylee on the third row. Sit!" Mrs. Penhallow waves a textbook at her, which Lara picks up and then she hurries to the empty desk on the third row. A mousey-brown haired girl with dimples smiles a greeting at her, and Lara smiles gratefully back as she slides into her seat and pulls out her file and some pens.

"Class, today we're looking at matrices, if you'll please open your textbooks to page one-hundred and ninety-seven..."

Lara opens her file and automatically starts taking notes even though this was one topic that came really easy to her, and she's so busy doing the exercises when Mrs. Penhallow stops talking that she doesn't realise the boy to her right trying to get her attention.

He has blond hair, sort of lazily over one eye, and bright blue eyes, and is wearing a Smallville Crows shirt, and Lara suspects he was one of the guys that cheered when she mentioned the sports team doing well. And he winks at her. "Hey, my name's Rufus. I'm on the reserve squad for the team. You doing anything after school today?"

"Uh..." Lara flounders, because her stomach feels like it has dropped away, and the guy is really forward, and for just a second she thinks oh-god-he's-cute which startles her so much that she says, "uh, my sister's picking me up."

Rufus looks disappointed for a second.

Lara hurries to finish her answer, even though she doesn't quite know why. "She's picking me up at the Talon," she whispers, "at half five."

"Sweet," Rufus says. "I'll be there." And he turns away before she can say anything else, so she turns back to her work, a little perplexed at why she said what she said - maybe being a girl gives you girlish impulses like flirting with cute guys and telling the truth, and if so she's in danger, and someone just poked her.

Lara turns to her other side to see Kaylee looking at her. Kaylee has lovely soft brown hair and doe brown eyes but does absolutely nothing for Lara even though Kaylee is hot, so Lara is worried that she is properly stuck as a girl and will have to date a _guy_- _But then, that thought isn't so horrible, is it? Not as horrible as it would have been had you thought that thought last year..._

"Did Rufus Jackson _just ask you out_?" Kaylee hissed in wonder. "Wow, that is _so_ cool."

"No, he didn't," Lara hurries to answer. "He just asked where I would be after school, and I said the Talon."

"Ohh, you're so lucky," Kaylee enthuses. "Every girl's been after him for months, but he hasn't gone out with anyone," and she's keeping her voice low so he can't hear.

"Hey," Lara says impulsively, "you should come. To the Talon, with me, after school. It's not a date, it was just me telling him where I'll be."

Kaylee looks reluctant, as if she should say no.

"C'mon," Lara says, pleadingly. "I hardly know anyone in this town. It'd be good to have someone to talk to."

Convinced, Kaylee beams at her happily, and they turn back to their exercises swiftly when Mrs. Penhallow casts some sort of expression at them, and Lara wonders while she pens down some of the answers if she was trying an evil expression, but it looks like her normal expression, so she doesn't know.

Lunch time is awkward. Kaylee has her own friends, but from their far-off glances, Lara feels too old. She's already pretending to be older because mom said she can pull it off as it is. So she stands somewhat awkwardly at the end of the queue, balancing milkshake and an apple and a plate full of some sort of spaghetti but she doesn't want to identify the meat. It's never a good idea with cafeteria food after all. She knows she won't look strange if she picks at her meat because it's a consistent school cafeteria thing.

"Hey, come sit with us." Lara looks up into chocolate eyes, to see Pete smiling at her, still in that slightly lecherous way, but she has nothing else to do, and the attention is rather nice. Smiling hesitantly she walks over to the table where Chloe and Lana are sat animatedly discussing something. They stop as Lana sits down.

"Hey," Lara greets, feeling a little out-of-place. The others notice and are all smiles.

"First day, huh, could it suck much worse?" Chloe says in her snarky sarcastic way, but its warm and Lara latches onto it gratefully.

"It's a little weird," Lara says. "I'm totally behind on my American history," she adds, knowing she has to make her lies plausible. Martha's done some research and has brought in a favor from an old friend from her school days, who will verify that Lara stayed with them if Chloe does her snooping thing and researches her.

"Yeah, but you'll have a head up on European history," Lana says, almost sympathetically. "We've just started it, and hello, could there _be_ a more boring subject?"

"Yeah," Lara says deprecatingly. "It's called _algebra_."

They laugh, and just for a second it's all okay, and there's a twinge in her stomach so bad, she only really has time to think, _what?_ _what's going on-_ and then Lara is looking at her in a real funny way, and Lara holds her stomach a little, feeling queasy, and then gets an uncomfortable feeling of floating even though yep, she's definitely on the ground.

Realising that she was just moments away from throwing up, Lara claps a hand to her mouth and pushes herself away from the table. Maybe her chair goes a little too far back, but she runs skittishly through the throng of students, and heads for the toilets, and somehow in her panic even makes it into the girls' toilets...

Head bent over a basin, she retches, getting rid of everything she'd eaten so far. _Mom was right, maybe I am more nervous than I think I am..._ Coughing and wiping her lip, she exits the stall, and gains a small glance of sympathy from a mousy-haired girl sheepishly leaving the toilet. Lara is all alone in the small room of three cubicles, and she crosses to the sinks, swallowing and spitting some water and washing her face. She reaches absently for the soap as she catches a glimpse of her face in the mirror - startled, and pale like a ghost, and more than ready to bolt far away... Lara pulls her hands away from the soap dispenser, the tap still running, ready to wash her hands, when she feels something strange building up inside of her.

Involuntarily stepping back, she has time to look at the small tinge of green on her fingers from the dispenser before she realises that no, she's not going to be sick again, she's about to _sneeze_.

The sneeze wracks violently through her, blearing her vision, and she feels even worse than she did throwing up, and stars burst violently across the entire world, ironic, she thinks, that's where I'm _from_, and she stumbles back so hard her back connects with the cubicles, and shakes them, and there's a creaking sound, and oh, it hurts, it hurts so _bad_, and when she looks up-

That sight is more familiar, but Clark can't take it in. Suddenly he's back to being a _he_, which is incredibly confusing, but then he places where he felt that way before - yes, when he was sneezing. Somehow he was back to being him, and he wasstuck inside the girls' toilets. With no apparent way to explain where Lara had gone.

He knows he's panicking, but he at least retains enough sense to hide in the cubicle he threw up in, and he closes the lid and sinks onto it, scuffing at Lara's bag with his toes and staring down at his hands like he can't quite believe it. They're his hands all right, just as bony and angular and pale as he remembers from before, but tinged with the soap- the soap-

Clark thinks he's about one step away from figuring out something huge, when the door opens and a very familiar female voice calls out: "Lara? Lara, are you in here?"

Clark remembers in time to lift up his feet, as along with the return of his body came the return of his original clothing and Chloe would definitely suss out that something weird was going on if she saw Clark's shoes in the girls' toilets, _especially if she found out I was still attached to them._

"Are you okay?"

And Clark curses silently, for Chloe must have seen Lara's bag resting against the inside of the stall door, and he does the only thing he can think of, he raises his voice as squeakily as it can go- it's a little huskier than Lara's tones, but Clark hopes Chloe will take it to mean that Lara isn't well, not that Lara-who-is-secretly-Clark-has-sneezed-herself-back-into-being-Clark. Around other people Clark wouldn't be worried about this sort of wild leaps to amazingly correct solutions, but Chloe has the intuition of a psychic.

"Just a little queasy," Clark manages in his faux-Lara voice.

"You want me to get the matron?"

"No!" Clark knows he answered too quickly, and tries to soothe it with a softer, "no."

"A'ight," Chloe murmurs. Clark squints his eyes and uses his x-ray vision to glance through the door, but he lowers his head in despair when he realises Chloe is assuming her guard-position, her I'm-not-leaving-until-you-come-out position. He tries not to freak out, but he can hear his own heartbeat and he hates that his super-hearing is this weird, but is also reassured at the same time that he has a heart, so he's not so much of a freak after all. He's a gender-bending alien from the planet Krypton with comic book hero super powers, but at least he has a heart.

_Yes, Tin Man, you _are_ in Kansas after all..._ The thought makes Clark's eyes snap open, and he sees again the unwashed soap on his hand, a pale green, but if he tilts his hand and it catches the awkward light of the long filament bulb above, it's darker green, almost flashing, like... _Kryptonite?_

Realisation floods over him. _The washing powder! Dad knocked over the washing powder, and it's a Smallville own brand, right?_ His heart thumps even louder, until he can't really hear his own thoughts. _This is what is making me switch!_

Knowing desperately it was the only way out of there, Clark lowers his nose to his hand, although somewhat tentatively as the remembered knowledge that the transformation will _hurt_ filters through him. _Chloe will get suspicious if you wait! Everyone else gets a lifetime of a pain, so _sniff _it, you wuss!_ Clark inhales, and pain smashes through him again, like a whirlwind, smashing and destroying everything in its path, and Clark is so glad he's not going to have to fake the symptoms of pain because, guess what, he really _was _in pain.

And a she again.

Quickly rubbing the soap from her hands, Lara walks hesitantly out from the cubicle and manages to smile waveringly at Chloe, who looks at her sympathetically. She drops her bag to the ground and scrubs at her hands, hoping to get every particle of the damn stuff from her hands before she switches again. She hopes no one else who washed their hands in this soap comes close to her.

Chloe sees her squinting at the tap, and incomprehensively rummages in her bag quite loudly. Lara watches her in confusion, and Chloe brings out a small bar of soap wrapped in foil. Chloe unwraps it and holds the bar forth to Lara.

"It's my own soap from home," Chloe says, with a foul look directed at the soap dispenser. "The school switched to _LuthorCorp_ soap this week, so I've taken to bringing in my own soap." Chloe looks fired-up, as if she's in the middle of a story. "It's manufactured in Smallville, and I really don't trust the company."

Lara accepts the soap thankfully, and washes her hands clean, careful not to touch anything of the green shimmering parts around the sinks. She makes a mental note to avoid the toilets completely in future if possible. "Thank you," she says politely, wrapping up the soap as carefully as she can and handing it back to Chloe, who beams at her.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to call your sister to come get you?"

Lara blinks, and shakes her head. "No," she says, "M-Martha can't pick me up until half five, and I'm sort of meeting someone at the Talon."

Not for nothing is Chloe destined for investigative reporting, for she notices Lara's small blush, even though on Lara's part it is embarrassment for being 'picked up' by a younger guy.

"A guy someone?" Chloe says with a wider grin, a teasing look on her face that Lara knows _very_ well.

Lara fidgets awkwardly. "Well, yes, but a girl someone too."

Chloe's expression doesn't change but her eyes flicker thoughtfully, and Lara realises how it came out.

"A girl classmate," Lara quickly explains. "And a boy classmate, come to think of it..."

"I _was_ wondering," Chloe admits with a quick grin. "Is he cute?"

"Ungggghh..." This is so not a question Lara feels she can answer, and she tries to think back to what Rufus looks like, and she sort of remembers the floppy blond hair and the bright blue eyes, that sort of reminded her of someone, only she couldn't pin it down. Lara wasn't attracted to Rufus, even though - and her belly aches again - she's been sort of wondering recently if maybe just maybe Rufus was more her type than _not_ - but she reckons that a girl like Lara should find him cute, so she manages a squealed: "He's _jail_bait."

Chloe wrinkles her nose knowingly. "Uh-huh, I see." A distinct note of teasing there.

Lara pouts. "They're like, three years younger than me," she hurries to explain.

"Uh-huh," Chloe says again with that horribly knowing look.

"You should respect your elders," Lara informs her darkly.

"Uh-huh."

"I'm no cradle snatcher," she adds, as irritably as she can manage, but Lara is really enjoying this, this is banter that she never had with Chloe before. Chloe could manage snark with Clark really well _hey, that rhymed_, but this easy banter is something Lara really enjoys, _it must be a girl thing_.

"Unlike a certain Mr. Luthor and your nephew," Chloe says, and she laughs as if it is the funniest thing in the world.

_Unlike a certain..._ A lead weight drops in Lara's stomach. "What do you-"

Chloe waves her off, like it's nothing. "Clark won't have told you, I suppose," Chloe says, inching closer as if she's imparting a great secret. "Clark's secretive, I don't know if you've known him long enough to figure that out, but pretty much _everyone_ knows he and Lex are... well, _interested_ in one another, even if they're not" Chloe pantomimes a rude gesture with her hand, and Lara can't help it, her eyes are round. _Whaaaa-_

"He's not," Lara says, feeling stupid. "I, we, he- we talked, and Clark's never- He hasn't-" She shuts up, feeling even more embarrassed.

"He talked about that with you, huh?" Chloe sounds surprised. "Guess Clark's policy about keeping secrets doesn't extend to his _family_." Chloe sounds bitter. Lara promises to herself to try and make things up to Chloe when she's back to being just Clark. This girl thing is even _more_ disturbing than she thought, finding all this stuff out about _herself_, about _Clark_, is way too weird to contemplate.

"I thought you had a crush on him," Lara says softly, twisting her hands awkwardly.

Chloe blinks, taken a little aback. "Once-upon-a-time," she admits, and the words twist in Lara's gut, but she doesn't show that on her face. Chloe's expression looks slightly sad, like maybe she's lying, and Clark hates that he's hurt her this much. "But sometimes you just have to move on and realise-"

"-that the object of your desires is not on the same wavelength as you?" Lara suggests delicately, even though her head is spinning, _she thinks- they _all_ think Lex and I- _LEX_ and I? Oh, god, oh, god, oh god... but you do... you _do_ like him... like that?_

"Exactly," Chloe says, with a conspiritorial wink at Lara. "So what have you got next?"

"English Lit," Lara says absently, her mind completely a turmoil of fragments of thoughts, and even as Chloe leads her out of the restroom, giving her hints and tips of how to placate the teacher, and where not to sit if she can help it, Lara's mind is still far, far away.

* * *

**To be continued...**


End file.
